I Can't Imagine Why She Doesn't Like You

Shaherezade (sic) writes:

My mother in law to be is a real bitcheroo. I don't her (sic) name permanently embalzoned (sic) on my fancy wedding invitations, especially because she is so mean and purposely not giving us money for the wedding because she specifically told my fiancee that if he were marrying someone else she'd have no problem giving us some cash. We didn't even ask her for her money! So hopefully she'll be dead soon, and then I won't have to see her face with the hairy chin mole. But she keeps insiting (sic) on having her name on our invitation and my fiancee (sic) is trying to convince me this is the right thing to do because MY parent's (sic) are on it. WELL, my parents have helped secure really good deals with all of our vendors and also offered to pay for the invitation we choose! I cannot murder this woman, so how do we get her off our backs???

Okay, technically--technically--you are right not to include your future mother-in-law's name on the invitation. Etiquette dictates that the hosts of the wedding are named on the invitation. Traditionally, the hosts are the bride's parents. So, formal, traditional wedding invitations typically will not list the groom's parents.

However, you need to seriously check your attitude. Calling her names and wishing her dead are things that a horrible, spoiled child would do. Your concern here has nothing to do with etiquette and everything to do with wanting to punish this woman for not giving you money. When I feel your motivations are wrong, I tend to side with the other party. It won't kill you to put her name on the invitation, and since your parents aren't actually hosting the wedding they have little more right to be named than she does. Suck it up and stop being a bitch. Right now you have the choice to be the bigger person and make peace with your new family, or secure your position as the hated daughter in law. Why would you have any interest in the latter? Grow up.

If I were your future mother-in-law I wouldn't be supporting my son's decision to marry you either. Does your future husband know how much you hate his mother? You might want to show him this little missive before he makes the mistake of walking down the aisle with you. I personally would have zero interest in joining my life permanently to someone whose family I could not stand, nor would I want to marry someone who spoke so hatefully of my family.