My sister in law just used some self tanner and it looks really fake and very streaky. It is a good alternative to the sun, but her application went horrifically wrong. I know she paid at least $60 for the cream she used. I feel bad saying that she looks terrible because it takes days for her tan to fade even if she exfoliates. Should I say something anyway? It's ridiculous, and kind of funny that she paid so much to look so silly, but I like her and don't want her to be embarassed. Unfortunately but the time I saw her the last time it was too late for her to go home and wash it off because it was a family event.
There are certain situations in which you should bring something potentially embarrassing to someone else's attention. Friend with spinach in her teeth; a coworker who tucks the back of her dress into her tights. That kind of thing.
But you say in your letter that it will take days for this tanner to come off. She's already been to a large event, and presumably she owns a mirror. What will pointing this out accomplish? What do you hope will happen?
The only outcome of telling her now is that she will be embarrassed, and you will look cruel. When there's no way to fix an appearance snafu, there's also no need to address it. Pretend you never noticed. If you're convinced she'll do it again, suggest a "Tanning Day" at your place, so you can both help each other get even coverage - and then actually help her.
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