Already Bought Your Dress? He Must Be A Keeper!

I Have The Wrong Priorities* writes:

Just found out that my fiance was in jail before we met. He said he didn't know how to tell me, but we've known each other for over a year, and I think he had plenty of opportunities. I am having second thoughts because even though he smokes pot occasionally, the jail time was drug related and I am afraid he's going to go and do it again, and I can't see myself going to visit my husband with a baby on my hip in prison. I love him and want to be married to him, but feel like if other people find out that they will judge me for being with a drug dealer. He has a good job now, but you never know what people say in private. Should I just leave him? We haven't even started planning the wedding yet except I did buy my dress!!

Well, y'all can always move to Denver and open a dispensary.

Your primary concern seems to be that people will judge you for being with a felon. You're right: we will. We will especially judge you if you knew he was a felon before you married, and you married him anyway. And then to think about having kids with him? No. Just - no, all around.

Look, I'm the first one to say that drug prohibition is ridiculous, and assuming that your fiance was in for simple possession or intent, I don't necessarily think he's a bad guy. But the fact is that drugs are currently illegal. He knew they were, and got involved in them anyway. He's still involved with them, and they're still illegal. He'll have to disclose that conviction to all sorts of people who will hold it against him, and that limits the life you'll be able to lead together.

This would be a complete deal-breaker for me. A prison record is not something to just gloss over - and his keeping this fact from you for over a year proves that he thinks so, too. If he were no longer involved in the shit that got him into prison in the first place, he would have been honest with you long before this. My gut says that he's either dealing or using more than he tells you, and he's not going to give it up for you, or for any future children.

As Dan Savage says, DTMFA. Dump The Mother Fucker Already.

*If you don't give us a name, we reserve the right to name you. It won't always be nice.