I'll Be There

My good friend just got some bad news. She appears strong, but I know there will be days where she feels down. How do I let her know that being strong is good, but if she wants to allow herself a bad day, she can? Or is it better to just encourage positivity and hope that she'll open up on her own if she needs to?

Funny. I'm going through a similar situation at the moment, and I'm willing to bet most of our readers can say the same. I think there's a lot of pressure for people who are going through incredibly rough times to keep their spirits up. You want to be known as the one who always had a great attitude, not the person who constantly bitched and complained about what a raw hand they were dealt.

But you know what? Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes shit gets thrown at you and no matter how happy a face you try to put on it, you eventually reach a point where you need to scream. There's no shame in that. It's not a matter of wanting to allow yourself a bad day now and then, it's a matter of needing it. Over time, that constant pressure to keep your head up takes a toll, both physically and emotionally.

What you want your friend to know is that in wanting the best for her, you want her to be able to freely and honestly express her emotions.

It's up to you if you want to say something. Sometimes words feel trite in situations like this. The most important thing is to just be there. Let this person know through your actions and attitude that you'll be a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on whenever they need it. Don't turn every conversation to their problems, but when they bring them up be willing to talk. As long as their spirits are high, keep yours the same. But the minute they start to seem low, let them know that that's okay too. You know your friend best and will be able to tell when they need to be cheered up, when they need to wallow, when they need a drink, and when they need to just go break stuff. Be flexible and willing to do any or all of the above for them.

And hey, for any of our readers who are going through a rough time themselves, re-read this and know that you have friends who will be there for your through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. You know who they are.