Here, Mooch Mooch Mooch!

Frustrated writes:

Every time I have something, there is one person who wants some of it. For example if we are having lunch and I say that my lunch tastes good, she wants some. If I buy something cute for myself at the store, she'll ask me if there were more and if she can either have mine (I am not lying) or if I can buy an extra for her. I just grew a bunch of fresh herbs in my garden, and as soon as she heard she asked me to give her some. I know I have extra of most everythig to spare, it's annoying that I have to anticipate her asking me for whatever I have. I often get caught off guard and say "okay" at first, and then realize what I did afterwards. IE, I have plenty of fresh herbs, but they just started to sprout. I can give her some when they start growing bigger, but not right now. Why does she need to have everything I have, and how do I ask her to stop asking me for what I have? Avoiding her is nearly impossible.

I admit, this is a trick I learned from Etiquette Hell: "I'm sorry, that won't be possible."

The beauty of this is that you're not saying a bald-faced, hard-to-swallow "No", but you're definitely making it clear that her mooching is simply not an option. No need to give a reason why it won't be possible; if she questions you, just keep repeating yourself. Variations on the theme: "I won't be able to do that"; "I'm afraid not".

If you don't feel confident enough to pull that off - or if you don't mind her mooching some things (like the herbs), but want to throttle her about others (your lunch), just lie. "I want your lunch."

"Oh, I'm sorry, there's not enough to share. How about we bring extra tomorrow to trade, like in grade school?" Then walk away.

"I want your sweater. Will you buy me one?"

"Aw, shucks, this was the last one the store had/I bought it at the thrift store/I got it out of my sister's closet. Too bad - we totally could have matched!"

Remember, your things belong to you. You are under no obligation to share them, no matter what whacked-out ideas she might have about altruism and "being nice". It is not impolite to refuse to shell out money, or time, or food to someone who is perfectly capable of earning her own.