Sk8ter Girl writes:
I have a job, but it's not doing what I want to keep doing for my entire career. It's in the same field I want to be in but the growth opportunities are not anything I would want for my future. I want to start looking for another job but my problem is that I have very limmited vacation and sick days and it's hard to schedule my interviews. I have two places that have called me back when they saw my resume but it's going to be hard to get out of work because the times they BOTH can see me are during my normal work day. Aside from an extended lunch break, which is not allowed without a doctor's note, how can I get around this issue? Any suggestions would be great. I am afraid to let my boss know I am looing though, because I like my current job and don't want to lose my position if I am unable to find something else.
Sacrificing a little vacation time is just part of the job hunting process. Since "limited" means different things to different people, I'm not sure if you're talking about not wanting to cut a day off your two-week trip to the south of France this summer, or if even getting a long weekend is a struggle. Either way, you need to decide for yourself whether another day off at some point this year is worth however many more months you end up stuck in a job you don't want. Another possible option could be adjusting your hours to cover the missed time. So if you're out 3 hours for an interview, come in early or skip lunch for the next three days, and you should be even.
In terms of telling your employer what you're doing on your time off, you really shouldn't owe them more than "I'm taking a half-day next Friday because I have an appointment." If they demand more, they deserve to be lied to ("the plumber's coming"). I take issue with any company that requires a doctor's note for a long lunch. They shouldn't be surprised that their employees are looking elsewhere.
Showing posts with label workplace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label workplace. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Friday, October 22, 2010
Workplace Discrimination
Hush writes:
I think my boss is discriminating against people who are native Spanish-speakers. We work in food service. The company just hired a new floor manager, He already moved one of the ESL workers to the back of the house instead of her original hostess position. He also made a comment to another worker that one of the Spanish cocktail servers are not the right fit for the look of the restaurant. He then complained that another Spanish speaking coworker frustrates him because his accent sometimes makes him hard to understand. These are not people who are disciplinary problems, because if they were they'd not be working here. What can I do at this point now that I see a pattern? And how does this new guy know I'M not Spanish? SO far he seems to trust my abilities and often asks me to cover the cocktail hours, but I don't think it's fair to the people who have been there longer. But since he is my boss and people have hired him to do this job, I am sure they have confidence in him. So maybe I'm wrong?
First, don't assume this man is above reproach just because he got hired for the job. There are plenty of bad managers, and plenty of bigots that work their way into positions of power. "Do you think Hispanic people should be allowed to work the front of the house" isn't a typical interview question. Based on the information you've provided, I think it's safe to say your new boss is exhibiting an ethnic bias, and this isn't a behavior that should be allowed to continue.
That said, this is an accusation that could potentially cost your boss his job, and it should not be made lightly.
Pay attention the next few times you're at work, and try to document every time he disciplines or makes comments about an employee's behavior. You have to be sure that he's treating the Hispanic employees differently and that he's not just and equal opportunity asshole. I'm not saying you need to walk around with a tape recorder in your pocket--in fact, don't. Just jot down a note when you notice him complaining about or mistreating someone.
Also find out if whether or not you're alone in this observation. In my experience restaurant employees like to gossip, so if you can avoid it, don't bring your suspicions up. Just wait for someone else to mention it. Regardless of whether or not he's acting intentionally, if employees are troubled by his behavior, it constitutes harassment. Finding out if others share your feelings is a good gauge of whether or not you're overreacting.
When you're ready to take action, do a little research. If you work for a large chain or franchise, the corporate office will likely have a hotline you can call to report abuse. If it's a privately owned restaurant, you may need to find a way to speak with the owner.
I think my boss is discriminating against people who are native Spanish-speakers. We work in food service. The company just hired a new floor manager, He already moved one of the ESL workers to the back of the house instead of her original hostess position. He also made a comment to another worker that one of the Spanish cocktail servers are not the right fit for the look of the restaurant. He then complained that another Spanish speaking coworker frustrates him because his accent sometimes makes him hard to understand. These are not people who are disciplinary problems, because if they were they'd not be working here. What can I do at this point now that I see a pattern? And how does this new guy know I'M not Spanish? SO far he seems to trust my abilities and often asks me to cover the cocktail hours, but I don't think it's fair to the people who have been there longer. But since he is my boss and people have hired him to do this job, I am sure they have confidence in him. So maybe I'm wrong?
First, don't assume this man is above reproach just because he got hired for the job. There are plenty of bad managers, and plenty of bigots that work their way into positions of power. "Do you think Hispanic people should be allowed to work the front of the house" isn't a typical interview question. Based on the information you've provided, I think it's safe to say your new boss is exhibiting an ethnic bias, and this isn't a behavior that should be allowed to continue.
That said, this is an accusation that could potentially cost your boss his job, and it should not be made lightly.
Pay attention the next few times you're at work, and try to document every time he disciplines or makes comments about an employee's behavior. You have to be sure that he's treating the Hispanic employees differently and that he's not just and equal opportunity asshole. I'm not saying you need to walk around with a tape recorder in your pocket--in fact, don't. Just jot down a note when you notice him complaining about or mistreating someone.
Also find out if whether or not you're alone in this observation. In my experience restaurant employees like to gossip, so if you can avoid it, don't bring your suspicions up. Just wait for someone else to mention it. Regardless of whether or not he's acting intentionally, if employees are troubled by his behavior, it constitutes harassment. Finding out if others share your feelings is a good gauge of whether or not you're overreacting.
When you're ready to take action, do a little research. If you work for a large chain or franchise, the corporate office will likely have a hotline you can call to report abuse. If it's a privately owned restaurant, you may need to find a way to speak with the owner.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Management 101
Kip writes:
I don't know what to do. I am a manager and I get great reviews at work. I have a wonderful rapport with the group of people I work with. lately work has been stressful. I have an assistant who is rarely reliable, and who manages to slip under the radar by making other people catch her mistakes so she won't feel the heat. It is to the point that my immediate superior is not confident in her abilities. However, they cannot let her go because there's never been any documentation of her mistakes. SO now I feel like the burden of the department is on my shoulders because this one is unreliable, and I am working long hours to make up for the job she's not doing. I am afraid to say anything because management positions in my field are hard to come by, and I am scared they will fire me for not being flexible. I've been asked to change my shift at the last minute, sometimes being told to go home and come back later, because the assistant cannot be relied on to get things right. Should I just be happy they have confidence in me, or do I have the right to tell them I can't do these long hours anymore? I can't find anywhere that lets me know my rights as a worker in the United States.
Well, Kip, it's time to manage. This isn't about your rights as a worker, it's about your ability to get your team to perform. Think of the confidence your supervisor will have--and the job security you'll gain--if you can take this unreliable employee and turn her into a success.
This means that instead of covering for your assistant, you need to start holding her accountable for her mistakes. Just because nothing has been documented before doesn't mean you can't start. Let her know her work has been unsatisfactory--and don't wait until review time to do it. I'm a strong believer that performance ratings should not be a surprise. If this woman is used to having other people pick up her slack, and hasn't been reprimanded before, she may not even realize how little confidence in her you have. Provide her with specific items to improve on, and a means to measure success.
I'm going to guess that other employees in your office don't particularly enjoy being thrown under the bus, so it shouldn't be difficult to convince them to stop taking falls.
Just keep in mind that your ultimate goal is to make this assistant a good employee, NOT to get her fired. Sure, if her performance doesn't turn around, you'll now have the documentation necessary to terminate her, but as a manager, the better your employees look, the better you look. Getting rid of her fixes the short term problem, but doesn't guarantee that her replacement will be better. On the other hand, helping her improve will win you both a lot of professional respect.
Tread carefully, as people don't like to be told they're doing a bad job. Frame your requests and your criticism wrong, and she's not going to be motivated to do better. In fact, she may end up doing worse.
I don't know what to do. I am a manager and I get great reviews at work. I have a wonderful rapport with the group of people I work with. lately work has been stressful. I have an assistant who is rarely reliable, and who manages to slip under the radar by making other people catch her mistakes so she won't feel the heat. It is to the point that my immediate superior is not confident in her abilities. However, they cannot let her go because there's never been any documentation of her mistakes. SO now I feel like the burden of the department is on my shoulders because this one is unreliable, and I am working long hours to make up for the job she's not doing. I am afraid to say anything because management positions in my field are hard to come by, and I am scared they will fire me for not being flexible. I've been asked to change my shift at the last minute, sometimes being told to go home and come back later, because the assistant cannot be relied on to get things right. Should I just be happy they have confidence in me, or do I have the right to tell them I can't do these long hours anymore? I can't find anywhere that lets me know my rights as a worker in the United States.
Well, Kip, it's time to manage. This isn't about your rights as a worker, it's about your ability to get your team to perform. Think of the confidence your supervisor will have--and the job security you'll gain--if you can take this unreliable employee and turn her into a success.
This means that instead of covering for your assistant, you need to start holding her accountable for her mistakes. Just because nothing has been documented before doesn't mean you can't start. Let her know her work has been unsatisfactory--and don't wait until review time to do it. I'm a strong believer that performance ratings should not be a surprise. If this woman is used to having other people pick up her slack, and hasn't been reprimanded before, she may not even realize how little confidence in her you have. Provide her with specific items to improve on, and a means to measure success.
I'm going to guess that other employees in your office don't particularly enjoy being thrown under the bus, so it shouldn't be difficult to convince them to stop taking falls.
Just keep in mind that your ultimate goal is to make this assistant a good employee, NOT to get her fired. Sure, if her performance doesn't turn around, you'll now have the documentation necessary to terminate her, but as a manager, the better your employees look, the better you look. Getting rid of her fixes the short term problem, but doesn't guarantee that her replacement will be better. On the other hand, helping her improve will win you both a lot of professional respect.
Tread carefully, as people don't like to be told they're doing a bad job. Frame your requests and your criticism wrong, and she's not going to be motivated to do better. In fact, she may end up doing worse.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Let Me Guess, You Can Quit at Any Time?
Shalon asks:
i keep a bottle of water in my drawer at work, but instead of water it's filled with vodka. I like to have a nip or two throughout the day, and often will add it to my lunchtime Hi-C fruit punch for a little bonus kick. I think one coworker smelled it on my breath recently because she asked me if I had anything to add to her drink because she had a snapple peach tea, but i told her NO. I think she sees me taking random sips from my desk water bottle and grew curious and now thinks I am the office bartender or something. Is there a more discrete way to keep my "water" bottle to myself?
You're an alcoholic. Either that or you're in high school. Really, you keep your booze in a water bottle and mix it with Hi-C?
I don't generally have a problem with drinking at the office. Occasionally grabbing a beer at lunch with friends or celebrating a new contract with champagne is perfectly acceptable. The difference between these examples and your situation is that you're drinking alone, and you're ashamed enough to make pathetic attempts at hiding it.
It's quite possible that your co-worker asked you to share not because she wanted a drink, but because she wanted to discreetly let you know that you're not fooling anyone. If you want to keep your "water" bottle to yourself, leave it at home. If you can't do that, seek the help of a professional.
i keep a bottle of water in my drawer at work, but instead of water it's filled with vodka. I like to have a nip or two throughout the day, and often will add it to my lunchtime Hi-C fruit punch for a little bonus kick. I think one coworker smelled it on my breath recently because she asked me if I had anything to add to her drink because she had a snapple peach tea, but i told her NO. I think she sees me taking random sips from my desk water bottle and grew curious and now thinks I am the office bartender or something. Is there a more discrete way to keep my "water" bottle to myself?
You're an alcoholic. Either that or you're in high school. Really, you keep your booze in a water bottle and mix it with Hi-C?
I don't generally have a problem with drinking at the office. Occasionally grabbing a beer at lunch with friends or celebrating a new contract with champagne is perfectly acceptable. The difference between these examples and your situation is that you're drinking alone, and you're ashamed enough to make pathetic attempts at hiding it.
It's quite possible that your co-worker asked you to share not because she wanted a drink, but because she wanted to discreetly let you know that you're not fooling anyone. If you want to keep your "water" bottle to yourself, leave it at home. If you can't do that, seek the help of a professional.
Friday, August 20, 2010
That's Sexual Harassment, and You Don't Have to Take It
Vinette writes:
One of the supervisors here in my office has a rapport with the ladies who work under him. They constantly joke and tease one another in a harmless way. However, it bothers me and I am not sure if it bothers me because I have a legitimate complaint or because I just feel like letting something bother me. Hopefully you can put me in my place if necessary.
They make sexually charged jokes with one another. While I find that the people involved in the jokes don't mind - and he only jokes with members of his own team - I am not sure how the people who can hear the jokes feel as this all happens during regular working hours on the work floor and not in the breakroom.
I started to get annoyed when he went to one of the lady's desks to tell her he "could smell the bacala" which referenced her stinky vagina. They all laughed and it's a constant joke with them, but teasing one another around me about the smell of a vagina is inappropriate during work. I am not sure how uncomfortable I am for all of that, but it definitely is not something I want to hear while I am working.
However, because he's not my immediate superior, and because his team doesn't mind, I wonder if I just need to let it go and ignore it. I do not interact with this man because I generally do not have to, and he's never rude. I just don't care for his jokes about female body parts and gender roles. So you think this is something I should report to HR, or is it something I should just let go because I am not involved?
I am lost only because I get along wit my coworkers in genera, and don't want to be the one who ruined everyone's fun times during the workday. They may have that casual relationship and who am I to ruin it for them, ya know?
I am shocked that you work at a company that has an HR department but does not have some form of sexual harassment training. It should be common knowledge to anyone working in a professional atmosphere that this behavior is unacceptable. Even if all parties directly involved in the joking are comfortable with it, they're creating a hostile work environment for everyone around them. If the supervisor makes you uncomfortable, the issue needs to be addressed.
Talk to your HR representative. Every conversation you have should be kept strictly confidential, but it wouldn't hurt to let your rep know that you do not want to be named in the report. At the very least, you'll be starting a paper trail that will follow this guy in the event that his behavior escalates.
One of the supervisors here in my office has a rapport with the ladies who work under him. They constantly joke and tease one another in a harmless way. However, it bothers me and I am not sure if it bothers me because I have a legitimate complaint or because I just feel like letting something bother me. Hopefully you can put me in my place if necessary.
They make sexually charged jokes with one another. While I find that the people involved in the jokes don't mind - and he only jokes with members of his own team - I am not sure how the people who can hear the jokes feel as this all happens during regular working hours on the work floor and not in the breakroom.
I started to get annoyed when he went to one of the lady's desks to tell her he "could smell the bacala" which referenced her stinky vagina. They all laughed and it's a constant joke with them, but teasing one another around me about the smell of a vagina is inappropriate during work. I am not sure how uncomfortable I am for all of that, but it definitely is not something I want to hear while I am working.
However, because he's not my immediate superior, and because his team doesn't mind, I wonder if I just need to let it go and ignore it. I do not interact with this man because I generally do not have to, and he's never rude. I just don't care for his jokes about female body parts and gender roles. So you think this is something I should report to HR, or is it something I should just let go because I am not involved?
I am lost only because I get along wit my coworkers in genera, and don't want to be the one who ruined everyone's fun times during the workday. They may have that casual relationship and who am I to ruin it for them, ya know?
I am shocked that you work at a company that has an HR department but does not have some form of sexual harassment training. It should be common knowledge to anyone working in a professional atmosphere that this behavior is unacceptable. Even if all parties directly involved in the joking are comfortable with it, they're creating a hostile work environment for everyone around them. If the supervisor makes you uncomfortable, the issue needs to be addressed.
Talk to your HR representative. Every conversation you have should be kept strictly confidential, but it wouldn't hurt to let your rep know that you do not want to be named in the report. At the very least, you'll be starting a paper trail that will follow this guy in the event that his behavior escalates.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday Quickies!
Jannie writes:
My coworker recently got a tattoo, right behind her ear. It's cute, there's no policy against it. When I noticed it because she was wearing her hair up, I told her it was such a cute tattoo, and she immediately covered it with her hand and took her hair down. Neither of us said anything after that. we worked together for about a year, so I was not sure why she reacted so weird. Did I do something wrong by saying anything?
I can't think of anything you did wrong. Complimenting someone is almost always a good idea, and unless you were backhanded with your praise ("That tattoo's so cute: it draws attention away from your freaky Spock ears!"), you were fine.
Though if you find out why your coworker is so weird, please, give us the scoop. I'm dying of curiosity now!
My coworker recently got a tattoo, right behind her ear. It's cute, there's no policy against it. When I noticed it because she was wearing her hair up, I told her it was such a cute tattoo, and she immediately covered it with her hand and took her hair down. Neither of us said anything after that. we worked together for about a year, so I was not sure why she reacted so weird. Did I do something wrong by saying anything?
I can't think of anything you did wrong. Complimenting someone is almost always a good idea, and unless you were backhanded with your praise ("That tattoo's so cute: it draws attention away from your freaky Spock ears!"), you were fine.
Though if you find out why your coworker is so weird, please, give us the scoop. I'm dying of curiosity now!
# # #
Susie asks:
Why do we say "a pair of panties" when there is only one article of clothing to which we are referring?
For the same reason we say "a pair of pants" - we have two legs, the garment has two leg holes, and we naturally turn these things into plurals.
More specifically, because it's a derivation of a word (pants) that has no singular form, also called a plurale tantum.
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Ashamed And In Love writes:
My husband is very open to experimentation in the bedroom and for that I am happy because he loves fooling around. Lately he's asked if I would dominate him because he's curious, and if I wanted to use a strapon to teach him a lesson. I am not comfortable with this, and it makes me wonder if he has gay tenancies since he wants me to use a device to simulate gay sex acts on him. Please help.
If he owns rental properties and gay people pay him to live there, then yes. He has "gay tenancies".
If you're asking if your husband is gay because he wants to experiment? I refer you to my archives.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Quickies!
Lamonica writes:
My coworker constantly farts loudly, loud enough that I know it's not one that escaped. It happens often. I don;t care if it is her diet or some other issue. Is there a way to let her know she farts all the time without being offensive? It's annoying to have to listen to and sometimes they smell.
Have you ever farted and not known you did so? I didn't think so.
She knows she has a problem. There is no way to bring this up politely. If you really can't live with it, you can try sending an anonymous email, but that's passive-aggressive and probably won't help the situation at all.
Keep some air freshener at your desk, and eat broccoli at lunch.
My coworker constantly farts loudly, loud enough that I know it's not one that escaped. It happens often. I don;t care if it is her diet or some other issue. Is there a way to let her know she farts all the time without being offensive? It's annoying to have to listen to and sometimes they smell.
Have you ever farted and not known you did so? I didn't think so.
She knows she has a problem. There is no way to bring this up politely. If you really can't live with it, you can try sending an anonymous email, but that's passive-aggressive and probably won't help the situation at all.
Keep some air freshener at your desk, and eat broccoli at lunch.
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Kipper writes:
What is that white slimy, stringy stuff that comes out of our eyes? I am obsessed with playing with it! It tickles when i pull it out of my eye. But if it's bad to do I will stop.
Um, ew. That sounds like pink eye, frankly, but I hope you're just referring to regular eye discharge - what little kids might call "eye boogers" or "sand", from the Sandman.
Discharge not associated with an infection like pink eye is often a reaction to an attempted bacterial infection or some irritant in or near the eye. Makeup, an eyelash, even dust can result in excessive eye discharge.
In general, discharge is not harmful. You should seek medical attention if it's yellowish, seals your eyes shut, or continues throughout the day.
# # #
Val asks:
I like to keep my lady business bare. But recently my husband has mentioned switching off once in a while and having something there to look at. the grow out process is a bitch! What do you think about cutting an inch or so of hair from my head and making a little temporary wig out of it? I could even buy colorful wigs that go on your head and repurpose them. Pink, blue and purple sound fun. Is it possible?
I have one word for you: Merkins (link may not be SFW). A merkin is a pubic wig, and if you Google, you'll find plenty of places to buy them in all colors and sizes and styles. Enjoy!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Panty Raid
Brenda asks:
I have a female coworker constantly diddling around in her pants at her desk. We don't have private offices and I gues she thinks no one can see her even though our cubes are fairly open. She'll reach in there and who knows why. Maybe she has an infection, but this happens too often, I think infections go away with treatment. Should I ask her to stop sticking her hands down her pants at her desk?
Think of it this way: what exactly do you have to gain from telling this coworker that she's gross? All you're doing is making an awkward situation more awkward. If what she's doing isn't particularly annoying (ie, she's not making an obnoxious noise or emitting a foul odor), then I probably wouldn't say anything. I also wouldn't shake hands with her, or touch anything on her desk.
I have a female coworker constantly diddling around in her pants at her desk. We don't have private offices and I gues she thinks no one can see her even though our cubes are fairly open. She'll reach in there and who knows why. Maybe she has an infection, but this happens too often, I think infections go away with treatment. Should I ask her to stop sticking her hands down her pants at her desk?
Think of it this way: what exactly do you have to gain from telling this coworker that she's gross? All you're doing is making an awkward situation more awkward. If what she's doing isn't particularly annoying (ie, she's not making an obnoxious noise or emitting a foul odor), then I probably wouldn't say anything. I also wouldn't shake hands with her, or touch anything on her desk.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Smelly Coworkers
Slappy asks:
One coworker wears the worst smelling perfume. It's her regular scent. It smells awful when she is next to me whih is quite often. I am allergic to most perfumes, so I often get headaches when we work closely together. Is there a tactful way to ask her to lighten up on the application, or skip it altogether???
This sounds like a job for Nice Critic. I was introduced to this site by a friend just recently. You can anonymously email a neighbor or coworker with various friendly suggestions about their appearance, hygiene, manners, etc. The notes are all worded very kindly, so you can get your point across without being rude and without getting involved in an awkward conversation. Sure, it's kindof hilarious, but it might just work!
If passive-aggressive isn't really your thing, you can use your allergies as a perfect excuse to start this conversation. If you remember Kate's article, How Do I Say It, from back in May, her number one rule for situations like this is to blame yourself. The easiest way to approach a situation like this is to say, "Hey, co-irker, I'm prone to migranes and a lot of times they're triggered by the chemicals in perfume. I know it's inconvenient, but would you mind wearing a little less on days that we have meetings?" By deflecting the problem to yourself, you're softening the blow of the actual statement, which would be, "You smell like crap. Knock it off."
One coworker wears the worst smelling perfume. It's her regular scent. It smells awful when she is next to me whih is quite often. I am allergic to most perfumes, so I often get headaches when we work closely together. Is there a tactful way to ask her to lighten up on the application, or skip it altogether???
This sounds like a job for Nice Critic. I was introduced to this site by a friend just recently. You can anonymously email a neighbor or coworker with various friendly suggestions about their appearance, hygiene, manners, etc. The notes are all worded very kindly, so you can get your point across without being rude and without getting involved in an awkward conversation. Sure, it's kindof hilarious, but it might just work!
If passive-aggressive isn't really your thing, you can use your allergies as a perfect excuse to start this conversation. If you remember Kate's article, How Do I Say It, from back in May, her number one rule for situations like this is to blame yourself. The easiest way to approach a situation like this is to say, "Hey, co-irker, I'm prone to migranes and a lot of times they're triggered by the chemicals in perfume. I know it's inconvenient, but would you mind wearing a little less on days that we have meetings?" By deflecting the problem to yourself, you're softening the blow of the actual statement, which would be, "You smell like crap. Knock it off."
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Thursday Quickies - Prize at the End!
Sherrie asks:
Does it matter if you leave the lumps in boxed cake mix or is it better to sift it before making a cake from a box mix?
In general, mixing the dry cake mix with the eggs and oil tends to take care of any stray lumps. If you want to make extra-sure you won't have weird spots in the finished cake, it can't hurt to sift the mix.
# # #
Callie writes:
I like to collect pocket knives and often bring them to work to cut up my fruit, usually my oranges. Plastic knives will not do the job. Sometimes it scares the people because it's considered a "weapon" but I have not used it nor have I tried to use it as a weapon per se. Only to cut the fruit, and that is while sitting at the table in the cafeteria during my regularly scheduled lunch hour.
As long as your workplace doesn't have a specific policy prohibiting weapons - including pocketknives - I don't see anything wrong with using yours as they were intended. Are you especially cruel to coworkers? I mean, they don't have a reason to think you might use a harmless Swiss Army job to eviscerate them, do they? You might need an attitude adjustment if they're afraid of you, but if they're just averse to any sort of implement that might possibly one day if circumstances were good be involved in violence, well, they need to man up.
# # #
Just Curious asks:
I think one of the managers here used to be a man but is now a woman. Of course I cannot ask. But I want to know how I can confirm my suspicions?
You can't. This is absolutely none of your business, end of story. And I won't dignify such rudeness by expounding further.
# # #
And an update from our favorite correspondent, Hater!
I wanted to update you on my sister and her boyfriend. She found out the boyfriend was talking to other girls and telling them he was not in a relationship, so she broke up with him. They are 16 and she is devastated. In the end I am glad they broke up, it's a life experience everyone probably goes through but I knew he was not great for her. So she is doing good and starting to hang out with her friends more than she was before even thought a few stopped talking to her because she had been spending all her time with this guy. But you live and learn. AND yeah hahaha, tell me if I'm jealous now. Teen relationships mostly don't last, but you can keep telling me I just never had a boyfriend and I am just jealous. Please. What great advice you people give. You have no idea what you're talking about.
Oh, Hater, we missed you. Don't be gone so long next time, okay?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Angry writes:
I am so angry right now. I work with several people in a customer service setting. One of the people I work with will constantly do things for the customers that we don't have permission to do. The reasons are specific - we cannot use past invoices to give the customer a credit card number for security reasons, for example. She has been told not to do this, but will do it anyway.
One specific client will ask for her specifically to get information we are not permitted to give. This customer often will put in complaints about me and another coworker for not doing the things this one person will do for her. Not only is she not following our policy, but she is making us look bad to a customer by superceding the instructions we've already given this customer.
I have explained to her numberous times that this customer sends formal complaints about us to management because she thinks we're just not willing to help her, but she says that she doesn't do the things the client asks. Managemtn believes her because the client is notorious for lying. HOWEVER, today I got a call from the customer asking for this special attention, and I refused, telling her what I am permitted to do. She did not like this, asked for the coworker who does what she is not supposed to do. I contacted my coworker and explained that we need to be on the same page and that we are not permitted to do what she asked.
Guess what? Coworker did it anyway and admitted it in an email because she said the client cited "system issues", which I know for a fact were false because I checked that myself when I spoke to her.
Should I go to the management team about this because this is not an isolated issue? Should I bother to confront the coworker again to see why she contantly makes me look bad?
I would absolutely go to management on this. You've already address the problem with your co-worker and she's refused to change. The rules have been set up for security reasons, and this co-worker is putting your clients' information in danger by breaking these rules.
You needn't feel you're going over your co-worker's head here, because in this particular instance you had a conversation with her about the specific rule she broke, and she did it anyway. Now that you have proof of this security breach in writing, I'd take it to your supervisor and explain that it is an ongoing problem. Let the management take it from there.
I am so angry right now. I work with several people in a customer service setting. One of the people I work with will constantly do things for the customers that we don't have permission to do. The reasons are specific - we cannot use past invoices to give the customer a credit card number for security reasons, for example. She has been told not to do this, but will do it anyway.
One specific client will ask for her specifically to get information we are not permitted to give. This customer often will put in complaints about me and another coworker for not doing the things this one person will do for her. Not only is she not following our policy, but she is making us look bad to a customer by superceding the instructions we've already given this customer.
I have explained to her numberous times that this customer sends formal complaints about us to management because she thinks we're just not willing to help her, but she says that she doesn't do the things the client asks. Managemtn believes her because the client is notorious for lying. HOWEVER, today I got a call from the customer asking for this special attention, and I refused, telling her what I am permitted to do. She did not like this, asked for the coworker who does what she is not supposed to do. I contacted my coworker and explained that we need to be on the same page and that we are not permitted to do what she asked.
Guess what? Coworker did it anyway and admitted it in an email because she said the client cited "system issues", which I know for a fact were false because I checked that myself when I spoke to her.
Should I go to the management team about this because this is not an isolated issue? Should I bother to confront the coworker again to see why she contantly makes me look bad?
I would absolutely go to management on this. You've already address the problem with your co-worker and she's refused to change. The rules have been set up for security reasons, and this co-worker is putting your clients' information in danger by breaking these rules.
You needn't feel you're going over your co-worker's head here, because in this particular instance you had a conversation with her about the specific rule she broke, and she did it anyway. Now that you have proof of this security breach in writing, I'd take it to your supervisor and explain that it is an ongoing problem. Let the management take it from there.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
When Aunt Flo Stops By The Office
Ursula asks:
Got any ideas for cramp relief at work besides pills? HELP!!
I feel your pain. There's nothing worse than sitting through a staff meeting while the Devil tap-dances on your ovaries. Unfortunately, grabbing a stiff drink on your lunch break is usually frowned upon.
During the winter, I swear by Thermacare patches. You can apply the heat-pack right to your stomach, they're thin enough not to show through thick clothing, and they last all day. During this time of year though, the added heat might just make you more uncomfortable.
My doctor once recommended doing back bends. I assume the logic there is that stretching the abdominal muscles will help them to relax. Unless you have an office with a locking door though, I don't recommend this for work.
My favorite remedy, however, is chocolate and soda (or pop, or Coke, or whatever you call it). I was once told that the caffeine helps to dilate blood vessels and can relieve pain from cramps and stress headaches. I'm 95% sure this is nonsense, but i still reach for both whenever I don't have access to actual painkillers. If nothing else, the delicious snack helps me get my mind off the pain.
Got any ideas for cramp relief at work besides pills? HELP!!
I feel your pain. There's nothing worse than sitting through a staff meeting while the Devil tap-dances on your ovaries. Unfortunately, grabbing a stiff drink on your lunch break is usually frowned upon.
During the winter, I swear by Thermacare patches. You can apply the heat-pack right to your stomach, they're thin enough not to show through thick clothing, and they last all day. During this time of year though, the added heat might just make you more uncomfortable.
My doctor once recommended doing back bends. I assume the logic there is that stretching the abdominal muscles will help them to relax. Unless you have an office with a locking door though, I don't recommend this for work.
My favorite remedy, however, is chocolate and soda (or pop, or Coke, or whatever you call it). I was once told that the caffeine helps to dilate blood vessels and can relieve pain from cramps and stress headaches. I'm 95% sure this is nonsense, but i still reach for both whenever I don't have access to actual painkillers. If nothing else, the delicious snack helps me get my mind off the pain.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
You Get What You Give
B asks:
I have 6 coworkers all female. We started at the same time, and are very friendly. Some, more than others. I, being, the others. They never acknowledge my birthday in the 5 years we've all worked together, even though it's in a quick reference file that all of our birthdates are in. But they very obviously plan to celebrate for each other. Last week, one of the ladies was out of the office, and the other 5 started to privately/openly plan who was bringing in what for a lunch they were planning. They did not purposely exclude me, but they did not include me. For instance, as we're all working independantly, coworker 1 would whisper "I am bringing chips and salsa, what do you want to bring?" to coworker #2. Again, not on purpose, but they said it loud enough that I heard but softly enough that I was not part of the conversation. So today they are all having their lunch, and when I saw them all unpacking what they brought, one of them said, "Oh you're more than welcome to have some!". But I didn't because it feels weird to not have brought anything in myself.
So should I say something, should I not say anything and let it go? Or should I chime in next time and include myself? I'm not one to impose on others, but I think it's odd we all work so closely together and I am not acknowledged as part of the group.
Sometimes shyness is interpreted as standoffishness. It's possible your co-workers don't include you because of a vibe you're giving off. Sometimes it doesn't take much. Turning down a lunch invite once or twice because you're busy may be interpreted by them as you preferring to eat alone. It sounds like you don't get involved when they're planning birthday celebrations for each other. If that's the case, you really can't blame them for not going out of their way for you.
It's hard to jump into an established group of friends without feeling like an outsider. Choose one or two of the women that you feel most comfortable with, and start making a more of an effort to connect. Ask if they want to try the new sandwich place across the street with you, or suggest a mid-afternoon ice cream break. As you get closer, that person will hopefully keep you in mind when the rest of the group is planning something.
If they don't think of you, don't be afraid to speak up. The next time you hear of something being planned, mention that you have an awesome brownie recipe and offer to bring them in. Better yet, if you know someone has a birthday coming up, be proactive and ask someone what the plans are.
Just keep in mind that friendship is something you have to work for. Good luck.
I have 6 coworkers all female. We started at the same time, and are very friendly. Some, more than others. I, being, the others. They never acknowledge my birthday in the 5 years we've all worked together, even though it's in a quick reference file that all of our birthdates are in. But they very obviously plan to celebrate for each other. Last week, one of the ladies was out of the office, and the other 5 started to privately/openly plan who was bringing in what for a lunch they were planning. They did not purposely exclude me, but they did not include me. For instance, as we're all working independantly, coworker 1 would whisper "I am bringing chips and salsa, what do you want to bring?" to coworker #2. Again, not on purpose, but they said it loud enough that I heard but softly enough that I was not part of the conversation. So today they are all having their lunch, and when I saw them all unpacking what they brought, one of them said, "Oh you're more than welcome to have some!". But I didn't because it feels weird to not have brought anything in myself.
So should I say something, should I not say anything and let it go? Or should I chime in next time and include myself? I'm not one to impose on others, but I think it's odd we all work so closely together and I am not acknowledged as part of the group.
Sometimes shyness is interpreted as standoffishness. It's possible your co-workers don't include you because of a vibe you're giving off. Sometimes it doesn't take much. Turning down a lunch invite once or twice because you're busy may be interpreted by them as you preferring to eat alone. It sounds like you don't get involved when they're planning birthday celebrations for each other. If that's the case, you really can't blame them for not going out of their way for you.
It's hard to jump into an established group of friends without feeling like an outsider. Choose one or two of the women that you feel most comfortable with, and start making a more of an effort to connect. Ask if they want to try the new sandwich place across the street with you, or suggest a mid-afternoon ice cream break. As you get closer, that person will hopefully keep you in mind when the rest of the group is planning something.
If they don't think of you, don't be afraid to speak up. The next time you hear of something being planned, mention that you have an awesome brownie recipe and offer to bring them in. Better yet, if you know someone has a birthday coming up, be proactive and ask someone what the plans are.
Just keep in mind that friendship is something you have to work for. Good luck.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Black Socks With Bermuda Shorts, Too, Right?
Sickened writes:
My coworker smells so bad, it's like feet. it's warmer out these days so it's gotten worse. I put a fan on my desk to blow the stench away from me back onto her, but it does get overwhelming. I even started to talk about how many times a day I shower in the summer because I hate thinking I might smell. No dice; she doesn't fall for it. Is there a better way that may work to tell her she stinks like a foot? Passive aggressive doesn't work. We're not very friendly but we do have to work in the same office. I don't gossip, but I am sure I'm not the only one offended by her aroma. She usually wears tyvek sandals with socks, so I wonder if it IS her feet.
Sickened, does your company have a competent Human Resources division? Usually I like direct, polite confrontation, but this is one of those areas that can go bad with lightning speed, so I suggest you make a discreet inquiry to HR about your options with a coworker who has poor hygiene. They'll hopefully already have some sort of policy in place to either pull Smelly aside and deal with her directly, or some way to notify Smelly's immediate superior that something needs to be done - without getting you involved.
Also, I'm dying to know what you do that wearing sandals with socks is appropriate work attire. I mean, from a fashionable standpoint, sandals and socks are never appropriate attire, but in the workplace? No. You might suggest a change in dress code, too, while you're at it.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Social Ineptitude
Nancy asks:
I work with someone who seems to take great pleasure in correcting everyone during a conversation. It's so annoying and it really puts an end to the conversation. We can't even joke around because she interjects with her "fact of the matter", and then.....crickets.
For example, at lunch some coworkers and I were recently talking about some silly statistic that we made up about men and chores, and here she comes to tell us about how serious we need to take equality in the home and whatever, as if we're all idiots for having a light hearted conversation. Sometimes you don't need to correct other people in a social situation because it just makes things awkward, and also no one likes the know-it-all. What to do??
We like to call these people sexual intellectuals (because they're f*cking know-it-alls). And you're right, Nancy, people who lack a sense of humor ruin the fun for everyone.
If you're close with this person, you could pull her aside and explain how this habit of hers is affecting her ability to make friends with her co-workers. Just say, "Listen, Jane. It really kills the conversation when people are joking around and you jump in to correct them. It makes our coworkers uncomfortable." This may help her to interact with the group in a more socially acceptable way.
If you're not close or you would rather her exit your conversations all together, just ignore her and move on. Don't let her comments end your discussions. A quick "Jane, it was just a joke," will get the point across and allow you to turn back to the conversation at hand.
I work with someone who seems to take great pleasure in correcting everyone during a conversation. It's so annoying and it really puts an end to the conversation. We can't even joke around because she interjects with her "fact of the matter", and then.....crickets.
For example, at lunch some coworkers and I were recently talking about some silly statistic that we made up about men and chores, and here she comes to tell us about how serious we need to take equality in the home and whatever, as if we're all idiots for having a light hearted conversation. Sometimes you don't need to correct other people in a social situation because it just makes things awkward, and also no one likes the know-it-all. What to do??
We like to call these people sexual intellectuals (because they're f*cking know-it-alls). And you're right, Nancy, people who lack a sense of humor ruin the fun for everyone.
If you're close with this person, you could pull her aside and explain how this habit of hers is affecting her ability to make friends with her co-workers. Just say, "Listen, Jane. It really kills the conversation when people are joking around and you jump in to correct them. It makes our coworkers uncomfortable." This may help her to interact with the group in a more socially acceptable way.
If you're not close or you would rather her exit your conversations all together, just ignore her and move on. Don't let her comments end your discussions. A quick "Jane, it was just a joke," will get the point across and allow you to turn back to the conversation at hand.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
In This Economy?!
Crying in my Cheerios writes:
I hate my job. If I quit, do you think that will give me the incentive to find something else since I'll have time to look? Sometimes things work out in a funny way, so maybe I'd find something during a time of desperation. Right now I am unfulfilled and ready to throw in the towel. A squirrel monkey could do my job, and they throw their own poop at each other.
I'm of two minds on this one. I've never stayed at a job I hated, so part of me wants to tell you to go ahead and quit. But, I've also never left a job without having another one lined up - not on purpose, at least; not with forethought.
So, no, I do not think that you should quit before finding something new, unless you're secretly independently wealthy and work only for fulfillment. Because even if you have savings, what happens if you burn through that two or six or twelve-month stash, and still don't have a job that thrills and completes you? You're fucked, that's what.
I also wonder why you think you should find so much reward in your job. It's my opinion that we should all work to live, and not the other way around. Work is a means to house, clothe, and feed yourself. It is not an end, but a means, and as such, why should it be fulfilling? I don't think you should stay somewhere full of toxic people, or where you are abused or mistreated in any way. But if what you have is just a job, and not the means to inner peace and enlightenment, well - that's as it should be. If a monkey could do it, you're getting off lightly, aren't you? You can save your energy for the activities outside of the office that will help make you a well-rounded, grounded, fulfilled human being.
I hate my job. If I quit, do you think that will give me the incentive to find something else since I'll have time to look? Sometimes things work out in a funny way, so maybe I'd find something during a time of desperation. Right now I am unfulfilled and ready to throw in the towel. A squirrel monkey could do my job, and they throw their own poop at each other.
I'm of two minds on this one. I've never stayed at a job I hated, so part of me wants to tell you to go ahead and quit. But, I've also never left a job without having another one lined up - not on purpose, at least; not with forethought.
So, no, I do not think that you should quit before finding something new, unless you're secretly independently wealthy and work only for fulfillment. Because even if you have savings, what happens if you burn through that two or six or twelve-month stash, and still don't have a job that thrills and completes you? You're fucked, that's what.
I also wonder why you think you should find so much reward in your job. It's my opinion that we should all work to live, and not the other way around. Work is a means to house, clothe, and feed yourself. It is not an end, but a means, and as such, why should it be fulfilling? I don't think you should stay somewhere full of toxic people, or where you are abused or mistreated in any way. But if what you have is just a job, and not the means to inner peace and enlightenment, well - that's as it should be. If a monkey could do it, you're getting off lightly, aren't you? You can save your energy for the activities outside of the office that will help make you a well-rounded, grounded, fulfilled human being.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Here, Mooch Mooch Mooch!
Frustrated writes:
Every time I have something, there is one person who wants some of it. For example if we are having lunch and I say that my lunch tastes good, she wants some. If I buy something cute for myself at the store, she'll ask me if there were more and if she can either have mine (I am not lying) or if I can buy an extra for her. I just grew a bunch of fresh herbs in my garden, and as soon as she heard she asked me to give her some. I know I have extra of most everythig to spare, it's annoying that I have to anticipate her asking me for whatever I have. I often get caught off guard and say "okay" at first, and then realize what I did afterwards. IE, I have plenty of fresh herbs, but they just started to sprout. I can give her some when they start growing bigger, but not right now. Why does she need to have everything I have, and how do I ask her to stop asking me for what I have? Avoiding her is nearly impossible.
I admit, this is a trick I learned from Etiquette Hell: "I'm sorry, that won't be possible."
The beauty of this is that you're not saying a bald-faced, hard-to-swallow "No", but you're definitely making it clear that her mooching is simply not an option. No need to give a reason why it won't be possible; if she questions you, just keep repeating yourself. Variations on the theme: "I won't be able to do that"; "I'm afraid not".
If you don't feel confident enough to pull that off - or if you don't mind her mooching some things (like the herbs), but want to throttle her about others (your lunch), just lie. "I want your lunch."
"Oh, I'm sorry, there's not enough to share. How about we bring extra tomorrow to trade, like in grade school?" Then walk away.
"I want your sweater. Will you buy me one?"
"Aw, shucks, this was the last one the store had/I bought it at the thrift store/I got it out of my sister's closet. Too bad - we totally could have matched!"
Remember, your things belong to you. You are under no obligation to share them, no matter what whacked-out ideas she might have about altruism and "being nice". It is not impolite to refuse to shell out money, or time, or food to someone who is perfectly capable of earning her own.
Every time I have something, there is one person who wants some of it. For example if we are having lunch and I say that my lunch tastes good, she wants some. If I buy something cute for myself at the store, she'll ask me if there were more and if she can either have mine (I am not lying) or if I can buy an extra for her. I just grew a bunch of fresh herbs in my garden, and as soon as she heard she asked me to give her some. I know I have extra of most everythig to spare, it's annoying that I have to anticipate her asking me for whatever I have. I often get caught off guard and say "okay" at first, and then realize what I did afterwards. IE, I have plenty of fresh herbs, but they just started to sprout. I can give her some when they start growing bigger, but not right now. Why does she need to have everything I have, and how do I ask her to stop asking me for what I have? Avoiding her is nearly impossible.
I admit, this is a trick I learned from Etiquette Hell: "I'm sorry, that won't be possible."
The beauty of this is that you're not saying a bald-faced, hard-to-swallow "No", but you're definitely making it clear that her mooching is simply not an option. No need to give a reason why it won't be possible; if she questions you, just keep repeating yourself. Variations on the theme: "I won't be able to do that"; "I'm afraid not".
If you don't feel confident enough to pull that off - or if you don't mind her mooching some things (like the herbs), but want to throttle her about others (your lunch), just lie. "I want your lunch."
"Oh, I'm sorry, there's not enough to share. How about we bring extra tomorrow to trade, like in grade school?" Then walk away.
"I want your sweater. Will you buy me one?"
"Aw, shucks, this was the last one the store had/I bought it at the thrift store/I got it out of my sister's closet. Too bad - we totally could have matched!"
Remember, your things belong to you. You are under no obligation to share them, no matter what whacked-out ideas she might have about altruism and "being nice". It is not impolite to refuse to shell out money, or time, or food to someone who is perfectly capable of earning her own.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
This Is Not The Dish You're Looking For
Just Wants To Eat writes:
I work with a fairly close group of people. In general, I like them. There is one woman I work with who is obsessed with food. I can appreciate that being a bit of a foodie myself.
What drives me crazy is that this woman insists on examining, asking about and even sniffing my food. I've tried to ask her nicely not to, I've tried being a bitch about it, I've tried being assertive about it and nothing gets through to her.
How do I get her to let me eat in peace?
Ugh. These people are awful. I'm always tempted to ask if I can see the statute that made them Supreme Mugwump of All Things Edible. I don't, because I'm polite, but sometimes it's a struggle.
I have two suggestions: Ignore her completely, or be a broken record.
The first method works because you just do not engage. When she asks, don't answer. When she moves near you to see or smell your food, walk away. When she follows you, keep walking. If you can, shut a door in her face.
The second method makes you an ungratifying automaton. "What are you eating?"
"It's none of your business."
"Is it tasty?"
"It's none of your business."
"Can I smell it?"
"It's none of your business."
If she's not getting any reaction - but especially if you're also walking away from her and not letting her see the food - she should give up. You can substitute any polite phrase, as well; "Please don't bother me" or "I'm on my lunch break" or "I'm leaving now" should all have the same effect.
And if neither of these works, try the Force. Trust me. This is the advice you're looking for.
I work with a fairly close group of people. In general, I like them. There is one woman I work with who is obsessed with food. I can appreciate that being a bit of a foodie myself.
What drives me crazy is that this woman insists on examining, asking about and even sniffing my food. I've tried to ask her nicely not to, I've tried being a bitch about it, I've tried being assertive about it and nothing gets through to her.
How do I get her to let me eat in peace?
Ugh. These people are awful. I'm always tempted to ask if I can see the statute that made them Supreme Mugwump of All Things Edible. I don't, because I'm polite, but sometimes it's a struggle.
I have two suggestions: Ignore her completely, or be a broken record.
The first method works because you just do not engage. When she asks, don't answer. When she moves near you to see or smell your food, walk away. When she follows you, keep walking. If you can, shut a door in her face.
The second method makes you an ungratifying automaton. "What are you eating?"
"It's none of your business."
"Is it tasty?"
"It's none of your business."
"Can I smell it?"
"It's none of your business."
If she's not getting any reaction - but especially if you're also walking away from her and not letting her see the food - she should give up. You can substitute any polite phrase, as well; "Please don't bother me" or "I'm on my lunch break" or "I'm leaving now" should all have the same effect.
And if neither of these works, try the Force. Trust me. This is the advice you're looking for.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Dealing with Mouthbreathers
I am in customer service. How do you think I can address people who breathe into the phone? I get deep breaths screaming in my ear between words and I sometimes actually disconnect the call because it's like nails on a chalkboard. I can't do that as much as I want to because I really need to help these people, but making them more tolerable would be a help. TIA, sincerely, awaiting your reply.
Dear Awaiting,
There go my plans to turn WYPF into a call-in helpline. I don't think I could do what you do all day. I have enough trouble when my mom calls, sounding like she's in the middle of a marathon. Unfortunately, my usual response--"Ma! Quit eating the phone. I can't hear myself think!"--won't help in your particular situation.
Since you have to be careful to protect the delicate sensibilities of your customers, I would go with a three-phased approach.
Phase 1: Grin and Bear It
If it's one customer, and the conversation is under five minutes, I'd do my best to ignore the Darth Vader noises emanating from the phone. Imagine that your customer is a compulsive hoarder, and that the stench of cat urine is aggravating her asthma. It may not make you feel better about the customer, but it will make you feel better about yourself.
Phase 2: Suggest They Stop Breathing
If it's your 18th customer, and they've been yammering for 10 minutes or more, no amount of imagination will help you. At this point, it would not be inappropriate to say, "I'm sorry sir, I'm having trouble hearing you. It may help if you hold the phone a little farther from your face." Of course, here you run the risk of your customer holding the phone at arms length and then yelling that they can't hear you.
Phase 3: Pass the Buck
When all else fails, you have to watch out for your own sanity. You're not doing any of your other customers any favors by getting disproportionately (though not necessarily unreasonably) angry at an annoying caller. When you reach this point, your current course of action is the only way to save yourself. Either "accidentally" drop the call, or realize that their particular issue has to be solved by a manager.
Dear Awaiting,
There go my plans to turn WYPF into a call-in helpline. I don't think I could do what you do all day. I have enough trouble when my mom calls, sounding like she's in the middle of a marathon. Unfortunately, my usual response--"Ma! Quit eating the phone. I can't hear myself think!"--won't help in your particular situation.
Since you have to be careful to protect the delicate sensibilities of your customers, I would go with a three-phased approach.
Phase 1: Grin and Bear It
If it's one customer, and the conversation is under five minutes, I'd do my best to ignore the Darth Vader noises emanating from the phone. Imagine that your customer is a compulsive hoarder, and that the stench of cat urine is aggravating her asthma. It may not make you feel better about the customer, but it will make you feel better about yourself.
Phase 2: Suggest They Stop Breathing
If it's your 18th customer, and they've been yammering for 10 minutes or more, no amount of imagination will help you. At this point, it would not be inappropriate to say, "I'm sorry sir, I'm having trouble hearing you. It may help if you hold the phone a little farther from your face." Of course, here you run the risk of your customer holding the phone at arms length and then yelling that they can't hear you.
Phase 3: Pass the Buck
When all else fails, you have to watch out for your own sanity. You're not doing any of your other customers any favors by getting disproportionately (though not necessarily unreasonably) angry at an annoying caller. When you reach this point, your current course of action is the only way to save yourself. Either "accidentally" drop the call, or realize that their particular issue has to be solved by a manager.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Who does that at work?
Anon writes:
I walked in on my director in the ladies’ room taking a pregnancy test at work during lunch. She was flustered, and I pretended not to notice. Don’t know the outcome; I went into a stall and peed like I had originally intended. Do I say anything?
My motto is this: What happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom. I mean, if you walked in and realized she'd left that God-awful smell, you wouldn't mention it, would you? (The correct answer here is No.) I personally can't imagine needing to know I'm pregnant - or not - so badly that I simply cannot wait a few hours to pee on sticks at home, but hey, whatever lifts your luggage.
And it's not simply a matter of common etiquette, either. What good would come of asking after the results of the test? Unless your director routinely shares information with you about her reproductive status, I can't imagine that this is any of your business. It wouldn't be if you were social acquaintances, and certainly the workplace is no place for discussions of fertility.
I walked in on my director in the ladies’ room taking a pregnancy test at work during lunch. She was flustered, and I pretended not to notice. Don’t know the outcome; I went into a stall and peed like I had originally intended. Do I say anything?
My motto is this: What happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom. I mean, if you walked in and realized she'd left that God-awful smell, you wouldn't mention it, would you? (The correct answer here is No.) I personally can't imagine needing to know I'm pregnant - or not - so badly that I simply cannot wait a few hours to pee on sticks at home, but hey, whatever lifts your luggage.
And it's not simply a matter of common etiquette, either. What good would come of asking after the results of the test? Unless your director routinely shares information with you about her reproductive status, I can't imagine that this is any of your business. It wouldn't be if you were social acquaintances, and certainly the workplace is no place for discussions of fertility.
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