Why Grammar Is Less Science, More Art

Curious and Glamorous writes:


Why does the u in glamour move down the road when it becomes glamorous? Are there other words that work this way?


"Glamour" is the British spelling of "glamor". The u doesn't move; you're just mixing your spellings. It's "glamourous" in Britain.


Other words with extra u's include color, favorite, and honor (colour, favourite, and honour).


The deviation started in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, when English spelling was first codified by the publication of dictionaries. According to Wikipedia, Brits follow Johnson's Dictionary of the English Language, while Americans looked to Webster's An American Dictionary of the English Language. 


Commenters claiming non-codification or differences in codification as reasons spelling shouldn't matter will be summarily mocked. Especially if they spell anything incorrectly. 

Tuesday Quickies!

Jannie writes:


My coworker recently got a tattoo, right behind her ear. It's cute, there's no policy against it. When I noticed it because she was wearing her hair up, I told her it was such a cute tattoo, and she immediately covered it with her hand and took her hair down. Neither of us said anything after that. we worked together for about a year, so I was not sure why she reacted so weird. Did I do something wrong by saying anything?


I can't think of anything you did wrong. Complimenting someone is almost always a good idea, and unless you were backhanded with your praise ("That tattoo's so cute: it draws attention away from your freaky Spock ears!"), you were fine. 


Though if you find out why your coworker is so weird, please, give us the scoop. I'm dying of curiosity now!

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Susie asks:

Why do we say "a pair of panties" when there is only one article of clothing to which we are referring?

For the same reason we say "a pair of pants" - we have two legs, the garment has two leg holes, and we naturally turn these things into plurals. 

More specifically, because it's a derivation of a word (pants) that has no singular form, also called a plurale tantum. 

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Ashamed And In Love writes:

My husband is very open to experimentation in the bedroom and for that I am happy because he loves fooling around. Lately he's asked if I would dominate him because he's curious, and if I wanted to use a strapon to teach him a lesson. I am not comfortable with this, and it makes me wonder if he has gay tenancies since he wants me to use a device to simulate gay sex acts on him. Please help.

If he owns rental properties and gay people pay him to live there, then yes. He has "gay tenancies".

If you're asking if your husband is gay because he wants to experiment? I refer you to my archives.

Fun With Etymology

Curious Kat writes:


Where does the word "dingbat" come from? it's one of my favorites.


While today the word "dingbat" is commonly understood to refer to only two things - stupid,  flighty people and printers' characters - the first known use of the word is from 1838, when it was used to refer to an alcoholic drink. The word is of unknown origin, but belongs to the family of words we use when referring to something whose proper name is unknown: thingumabob, doohickey, gadget. 


According to Dictionary.com, the word has, in its history, meant: "money," "a professional tramp," "a muffin," "a typographical ornament," "male genitalia," "a Chinese," "an Italian,""a woman who is neither your sister nor your mother," and "a foolish person in authority."


"Dingbat!" 
"That's what she said!"

Quickies!

Lamonica writes:


My coworker constantly farts loudly, loud enough that I know it's not one that escaped. It happens often. I don;t care if it is her diet or some other issue. Is there a way to let her know she farts all the time without being offensive? It's annoying to have to listen to and sometimes they smell.


Have you ever farted and not known you did so? I didn't think so. 


She knows she has a problem. There is no way to bring this up politely. If you really can't live with it, you can try sending an anonymous email, but that's passive-aggressive and probably won't help the situation at all. 


Keep some air freshener at your desk, and eat broccoli at lunch. 

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Kipper writes:

What is that white slimy, stringy stuff that comes out of our eyes? I am obsessed with playing with it! It tickles when i pull it out of my eye. But if it's bad to do I will stop.

Um, ew. That sounds like pink eye, frankly, but I hope you're just referring to regular eye discharge - what little kids might call "eye boogers" or "sand", from the Sandman. 

Discharge not associated with an infection like pink eye is often a reaction to an attempted bacterial infection or some irritant in or near the eye. Makeup, an eyelash, even dust can result in excessive eye discharge. 

In general, discharge is not harmful. You should seek medical attention if it's yellowish, seals your eyes shut, or continues throughout the day. 

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Val asks:

I like to keep my lady business bare. But recently my husband has mentioned switching off once in a while and having something there to look at. the grow out process is a bitch! What do you think about cutting an inch or so of hair from my head and making a little temporary wig out of it? I could even buy colorful wigs that go on your head and repurpose them. Pink, blue and purple sound fun. Is it possible?

I have one word for you: Merkins (link may not be SFW). A merkin is a pubic wig, and if you Google, you'll find plenty of places to buy them in all colors and sizes and styles. Enjoy!

Just don't burn it and you're fine.

Lem asks:

I love toast, Have any good resipes?

I love toast, too. Usually I eat it with peanut butter and honey as a mid-afternoon snack. But, if you're looking to get creative, there are plenty of awesome ways to cook bread:

How about delicious French Toast from Pioneer Woman?
Or if you like Italian, try this Bruschetta by Giada De Laurentis.
Prefer good old Amurrican cuisine? Here's Bobby Flay's Texas Toast.

And if that's not enough for you, Dr. Toast (a musician), posts all kinds of new and interesting toast recipes on his blog. Check it out.

Things You Never Think About

Sneezy asks:

Why is it that facial tissue manufacturers are constantly changing their box designs.  Sometimes I find a box that I think is especially pretty or that fits my bathroom decor especially well and all I can do is buy what they have on the shelf at that time.  The same box is never, ever, there if I come back in a month needing more.  Is tissue box designer a job with very high turnover?

Unfortunately, I don't really have an answer for you. I couldn't find any job postings online for tissue box designers, so either the turnover isn't that high or it's one of those niche fields that you have to know someone to get into. I imagine that if you're employed full time as a tissue box designer, though, that you'd want to come up with as many designs as possible to convince the company to keep paying you.

The last time I bought tissues it was a huge case from Costco. I think they've lasted us about a year. The designs on those boxes are all similar but in different colors, so I use specific colors for different rooms in the house. I suppose going with the discount brands could solve your problem, since they don't spend as much money on box design, the pattern turnaround is probably slower, and buying in large quantities of course means lots of a particular design.

Alternatively, a quick google search revealed that you can special order custom designed tissue boxes from Kleenex. Sadly, the design program runs on Windows, and I have a Mac, so I can't vouch for how well it works. The service is pricey--$4.99 per box--but if you're very concerned about your tissues matching your decor, you may find this worth it.

Finally, you could invest in a tissue box cover. Then it doesn't matter what the tissues look like.

Yes

Anonymous asks:


So what do you think, you get what you pay for?

$27 Netbook on Ebay


Well, if you're going to use it, I guess it's a great deal. Obviously, this isn't the computer you'd store your music library on, or even run more than a web browser and maybe a text editor on. With a 2Gb hard drive and 300 Mhz processor you're basically talking about a desktop circa 1999 shrunk down to seven inches. But if all you want is something portable that gets you a slow connection to the web, why not?

I'd personally save for a few more weeks and at least get one from one of the bigger brands. About $250 will get you something comparable to a full-sized laptop.

Another thing to consider: will typing on that tiny little keyboard eventually cost you more in treatment for Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? That's enough to have me shelling out a little extra.

EDIT: corrected RAM to processor.