Thursday, February 3, 2011

Awkward Questions from Exes.

Shannon writes:

I have been with my current boyfriend for 10 years and we plan to get married eventually, no pressure to make definite pans. We're very happy. Recently, an old flame contacted me via facebook because he's going through a divorce and I guess he needed an ego boost. This was a guy I had dated right before my current partner. I obviously did not work out and there were a multitude of reasons. 

So, old guy asked me if he could ask a personal question. He knows I am in a relationship and didn't want to offend current, but I said to go ahead and aske. He wanted to know if our sex had been any good when we were together.

SO I replied that yes, it was good, and I had no complaints when we were together. I thought that was okay to say since it was true and has no effect on my current relationship. 

Then he started to say that I was the best he ever had, and asked me if my current boyfriend was better tham him. I decided to end the conversation right there. 

But I wonder, what would have been the right thing to say? Do I tell him that current boyfriend is the best that I have ever had? Or do I tell him it's none of his business? I didn't want to hurt his feelings because he's going through a rough time, but I also don't want to hurt my current boyfriend if he were to ever find out what the old bf and I ever talked about. What do you think?

You did the right thing by ending the conversation. There is no good way to answer that question, which is why it should never be asked.


  1. This is just another reason why Facebook isn't good for people. Obviously there's a reason why you didn't keep in touch with your old flame but since it's on Facebook you thought it was OK to talk to him at all.

    Just think, if this conversation happened at a bar right in front of your current beau would it still be appropriate? Would you still be asking the same questions? If the answer is no then you should not be talking to him on Facebook at all.

  2. Who is Tom anyway???