Be Thankful That This Isn't Your Mom

Marie asks:


I loaned my daughter $10,000 four years ago with a repayment plan of $100-200 a month no interest. I came into a large inheritance and offered to loan her the money so she could pay for her tuition for college. She has paid back about half, but now I lost my job and need my money back. She is unable to pay more than our originally agreed amount but when we made the agreement I was gainfully employed. Sure, I made some frivolous purchases that ate up a large chunk of my savings but that never seemed like my daughter's business. She said that I should not have made certain purchases, and that if I were not able to taker her repayment deal I should not have agreed. Now I have only $6k left, no job, so now I need her to pay me back faster. How can I ask her to double her monthly payments? She claims she cannot take a personal loan to give it to me in one lump sum.

Your daughter. You have a contract, and she's honoring her end of the deal. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on hers.

And honestly, if you have no job and only $6,000 to your name, you're focusing on the wrong thing. Even if your daughter could give you all the money back in one payment, how long would it last you? A month? Two weeks? You've already demonstrated that you're not good at handling money, and asking your daughter to go into further debt to bail you out is just plain selfish.

Go get a job. Plenty of retail stores are hiring for the holiday season. Use the money you earn to pay for necessities (food and shelter). Take whatever's left over and SAVE IT. Then, take the $1-200 per month that your daughter is paying you back and SAVE IT.

Then maybe, just maybe, the next time you find yourself in a similar situation you'll be able to take care of yourself.

Annie asks:

I'm in a bad financial situation these days because I just found out I lost my job. I didn't get paid any of my leftover sick or vacation time because the company went bankrupt so I am stuck. I recently went to a wedding and gave a generous gift of $200, but regret doing that this past weekend. Is there any way I could ask the couple to give the money back due to my circumstances? It would really help until unemployment kicks in since I have to wait a week for that, and my rent is due and I can't be late on that of course. Thanks!

I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation. Unfortunately, there is no polite way to ask someone to return a gift. Do you have a close friend or family member who can float you a short-term loan to cover you until your unemployment kicks in? If you've been on-time with your rent up until now, you could also try contacting your landlord and explaining your situation. It's possible that he or she will grant you a short extension.

In the mean time, I'd start focusing more on finding a new job than on trying to get back gifts you've given to friends. If you're at a point where $200 will make or break you, I wouldn't focus on finding something in your field so much as finding anything. With the holiday season coming up, it's a great time to get temporary retail work. You still won't have a paycheck in hand before rent's due, but at least you'll be able to be back on track by next month.

How About That Sense Of Entitlement?

Annry asks:


I recently bought a dress on Ebay from a local bridal shop who seemed to be selling dresses at a low low price. The dress I wanted retails for $2500, but I bought it online for only $750 and transfered my money from my bank account, shipping was free with the buy it now option. They said the dress would arrive in 3 weeks, but then 6 weeks came and went and they did not reply to my emails. I decided it was time to go to the store in person and they had no record of my dress. What is worse is, they also said they do not sell discounted dresses on Ebay and there is nothing they can do because apparently someone took the name of their store without permission and is claiming to sell dresses! It's a scam and they had other brides come in who had done the same thing. I was furious, and felt that they should still honor the order I placed because it was in their company's name! They said they can offer me a discount if I wanted to order the dress I wanted, but then I'd actually pay more for the dress because of the original price of $750 I already paid. How do I get the store to honor this agreement and just order me the dress I want???


Why do you think the store owes you anything? They never made an agreement with you, some anonymous scammer on the internet did. Having their name used illegally does not make them responsible for the sale. 

It sounds like you just learned an expensive lesson in how to do business on eBay. Never, ever bid on a big ticket item without doing your research. And I'm not just talking about looking at the seller's rating. Read the feedback, look at the sale history, contact the seller.

You know the old saying, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is"? Did you wonder why a local store would sell dresses online for a third of what they sold for in store? Did you call the store to confirm the sale?

The bottom line here is that you were careless. It sucks to get scammed, and I'm sorry it happened to you, but it's absolutely not up to the store to take take the financial hit for your mistake.

It's time to start focusing your efforts on more constructive ways to fix this problem. First, report the scam to eBay. They can't catch everyone, but obviously it's in their best interest as a company to keep scammers off the site. Also, depending on your payment method, you may be able to get at least a partial refund. PayPal offers some limited scam protection, or your credit card company may have a way to reverse the sale. So contact them and see what you can do about getting your money back.

Free Coffee! Oh, Wait....

Cassie writes:

I bought coffee and donuts this morning and did not notice on my receipt that they forgot to charge me for my coffee until I got to my desk. Is it wrong that I did not go back and pay for my coffee, should I to clear my conscience?

I think if you swing by the coffee shop tomorrow with your receipt and offer to pay, it would be appropriate. If you're a regular, the barista may simply have decided to give you a freebie - a pretty common practice among service personnel, actually. If that was the case, she'll probably not take your money, but she will appreciate that you're an honest person. If it wasn't the case, then you've done the right thing, and your conscience can be cleared.

Either way, I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Mistakes happen to all of us. Rectify it if you can, but don't fret if you can't.

In This Economy?!

Crying in my Cheerios writes:

I hate my job. If I quit, do you think that will give me the incentive to find something else since I'll have time to look? Sometimes things work out in a funny way, so maybe I'd find something during a time of desperation. Right now I am unfulfilled and ready to throw in the towel. A squirrel monkey could do my job, and they throw their own poop at each other.


I'm of two minds on this one. I've never stayed at a job I hated, so part of me wants to tell you to go ahead and quit. But, I've also never left a job without having another one lined up - not on purpose, at least; not with forethought.

So, no, I do not think that you should quit before finding something new, unless you're secretly independently wealthy and work only for fulfillment. Because even if you have savings, what happens if you burn through that two or six or twelve-month stash, and still don't have a job that thrills and completes you? You're fucked, that's what.

I also wonder why you think you should find so much reward in your job. It's my opinion that we should all work to live, and not the other way around. Work is a means to house, clothe, and feed yourself. It is not an end, but a means, and as such, why should it be fulfilling? I don't think you should stay somewhere full of toxic people, or where you are abused or mistreated in any way. But if what you have is just a job, and not the means to inner peace and enlightenment, well - that's as it should be. If a monkey could do it, you're getting off lightly, aren't you? You can save your energy for the activities outside of the office that will help make you a well-rounded, grounded, fulfilled human being.