Polite asks:
What would be the polite thing to do? I sent a friend some flowers as a thank you for watching my cat while I was on an impropmtu trip. This friend is very critical and always find the negative in anything, so I always expect criticisms. I was just stuck at the time and she was helpful and available.
Well, the flowers came wilted. She called me to tell me she got the flowers, but they were such poor quality so she called the florist to complain and they are sending mea refund.
While I appreciate her efforts, it was embarassing to know that my gift was not well recieved. Should I just suck it up because I am overreacting, or (if this were to happen to me) was my friend wrong in how she handled the situation? She told me not to send flowers like that anymore because you never know what you'll get. Now I don't know if other people have hated my floral delivery or if it is just her.
Did she bother to thank you for the thought? I can understand where your friend may have felt she was doing you a service by letting you know that you deserved a refund for the wilted flowers. However, this is a situation where you have to tread carefully. It's one thing to call you up and say, "It was so nice of you to send me flowers, you really didn't need to do anything. I did want to let you know in case you use this company often, that the flowers came to me wilted." It's another thing to say, "I got your flowers and they just looked awful, so I took it upon myself to call the company and give them a piece of my mind." She could have also requested that the florist send a replacement, rather than refunding your money. Then she wouldn't have had to embarrass you by essentially giving back your gift.
On the bright side, now you do know that the florist you use is unreliable, and next time you can choose someone else.
Personally, this woman sounds ungracious enough that I wouldn't feel obligated to replace the gift. You made a good-faith offer of a thank-you, and she didn't accept it. Let the issue drop, and don't ask for her help again.
If you still feel the need to be the bigger person and provide your friend with some kind of compensation for helping you out, I'd take the money that got refunded and purchase her a gift card to a place you know she likes. Impersonal, yes, but at least gift cards don't wilt, and it could be what she was angling for all along.
That's what she did. She did not thank me, instead called and basically said that she got the flowers and they looked awful, but she called the florist and got my money back. That was it. I actually thanked HER! And then I get mad at myself after thinking about why I bothered.
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