Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Babies, Babies, Babies!

Mary writes:

My friend is newly pregnant, so I listen to her explode with joy over her news, rightfully so! It's an exciting time for her! But no matter what we are talking about, she manages to either bring up her pregnancy or change the subject to start talking about it. I don't think I can take another 7 months of this! How do I cope without turning and walking in the other direction when she passive-agressively brings up her pregnancy again? I mean, it's not like I am going to forget she's pregnant if 5 minutes go by and we don't talk about it.

Have you ever had something major happen in your life? Gotten married, moved far away for an awesome job - anything like that?

I can guarantee you talked about it all. the. time. I can guarantee your friends got bored with you, but they understood it was a temporary thing, and that you were really excited. They were probably happy for you, and knew that once your life calmed down, you'd have other things to talk about again. They knew, too, that when they had happy news, you'd grant them the same leeway.

Or would you? The fact that you call your friend's preoccupation "passive-aggressive" gives me pause, here. Is she not a very good friend? Is she generally self-centered? Are you?

Pregnancy is a big deal. It is consuming her world, and she may not have anyone else to share this with. I think you're entitled to be bored, and to want to dial it down a little. It's perfectly acceptable for you to steer the conversation away from pregnancy, every time she brings it up. Acknowledge what she's said, and move on. "That's fascinating, Sue. Did you see in the news that ...."

But don't be bitter or angry about this. If it really bothers you that much, you may need to let the friendship lapse - or look seriously at why that might be the case.

No comments:

Post a Comment