Julie asks:
Do you have any tips for dealing with jealousy? When a co-worker goes on vacation I get so jealous that it makes me sick even if I just came back from vacation two weeks ago. And when a friend gets married, has a baby or buys a house, I have trouble being truly happy for them because of how badly I want those things, too. I know that I lead a good life and have a lot to be thankful for, but I can't help always comparing myself to others and coming up short.
It definitely sounds like the level of jealousy you're experiencing is debilitating. If good things happening to other people makes you sick, you may want to seek the services of a professional.
In the near term, the most important thing to focus on is not letting your feelings influence your actions. You may already be doing this, and if so, you're on the right track. There's no faster way to ruin a friendship than to be the one constantly dumping on another's good fortune. So don't go quoting divorce statistics to the friend who just announced her engagement.
The best way to deal is to put on a happy face, and then focus your energy on setting your own goals and achieving them, rather than comparing yourself to others. Make a list of places you want to see, and keep a lookout for cheap vacation packages. Start saving for a down payment on a house, and squirrel away a little money every month so you know it's a goal you're working toward. You don't have as much control over marriage and babies, but you can remind yourself that weddings are more fun when you're a guest than when you're the bride, and friends' babies are easy to give back when they start to cry.
You said yourself that you have a lot to be thankful for. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who are jealous of your job, vacations, and unencumbered single life. Enjoy what you have while you have it, and then when all those other things come along, you'll appreciate them even more.
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