This is Probably Not the Answer You Were Hoping For

Christine writes:

I have a question, how can I get my boyfriend to be nicer to me in front of other people? I am non confrontational so I will let things go until we're home alone, but when we are around other people I just give him a look and so far it's not working. I don't know how to approach the subject. For instance, I once tripped over a phone cord that was hanging from the phone to the wall jack, and the phone was on the table. My boyfriend said, "Jesus, clutz, watch what you're doing!!" and his mother was there and told him to not be so harsh. I tried talking to her about hs attitude but she didn't want to get involved. And again I bought a new car and certain things are new to me! So I was talking to his sister and I told her that my car uses so much more gas when I have the air conditioner on, and he went out loud, "OH DER!! No kidding!" His sister came to my defense and said that he should be nicer because I'm a girl and don't know that much about cars. So now I feel like his family knows he can be nicer but they don't want to help. What do I do? He's really cool and nice otherwise.

Just so we're clear, your telling me that when your boyfriend isn't being verbally abusive, he's really cool and nice. Okay. Dump him. He's being verbally abusive. I guarantee you can find a really cool and nice guy who's not going to give you crap for everything you do and say.

If his family isn't willing to step in, they're enabling his bad behavior. Why would you want to be around people who do this?

Read this next part twice so it sinks in:

You are too good for this. Everyone is too good for this. The only way that this man will learn he can't treat you like this is if you don't allow him to treat you like this. Every day you stay with him, you're allowing it. So dump him.

Maybe (and this is a huge maybe, so don't get your hopes up) he'll see the error of his ways, he'll realize you're worth changing for, and he'll seek help. If that happens, then you get to decide whether or not giving him another chance works for you. I wouldn't recommend it, though. People like this rarely change.